Do you think it’s time to organize your life now? How you choose your right spouse? What to consider when thinking about marriage? In this context we will help you to take a closer look at your relationships to create a brighter future. Dr. Phil advices you to take a closer look at yourself and the relationship before tying the knot.
Why are you getting married?
Be honest and evaluate the reasons behind your engagement. Write a list of pros and cons about your partner and your relationship. If you have to talk yourself into marriage, don’t. If you have to talk your fiancé into marriage, no way! Make sure you are not getting married to escape or avoid something. Have you just always wanted to get married? That’s not a good enough reason. If you get nauseous shopping for a wedding dress or seem to be sick every time you have to meet the caterer, listen to your body.
Do you know and trust your partner’s personal history?
The best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior. Learn from it. How has your partner behaved in past relationships? How have they behaved with you? What has your partner learned about marriage from his/her parents? Look closely at your partner’s parents, children learn what they live.
A marriage can be successful only with love. If you want to marry, you should be very similar in different aspects of life. If you do not think about any of these issues, it is better not to think about a successful marriage!
Have you planned a marriage or just a wedding?
Cake, flowers and fine china are all exciting, but there’s more at stake than one day. Your wedding is a day; a marriage is a lifetime. You don’t just want to be married, you want to be happily married. Think about the next 50 years. Put at least the same amount of time and effort that you are using to plan your wedding into planning your marriage.
In another words, be careful before marriage. Perhaps you have heard that “love is not enough,” This statement has proved true about different lives. A marriage can be successful only with love. If you want to marry, you should be very similar in different aspects of life. If you do not think about any of these issues, it is better not to think about a successful marriage!
Are you investing more than you can afford to lose?
Look at the cost of your relationship. If you have to give up your friends, career, or family, for example, the cost is too high. If it all falls apart, are you going to be emotionally bankrupt? It is better to be healthy alone, than sick with someone else.
Have you identified your needs and expectations?
Know yourself. You can’t determine if somebody is good for you if you don’t know your own needs. It’s not selfish to have goals within a relationship. Express your needs and expectations now, not when you’re already in the marriage. What are your absolute deal breakers? Do you know your partner’s?
Are you of the same opinion about basic issues?
Develop an emotional prenuptial agreement with your partner, outlining how you’ll handle children, discipline, etc. If you don’t plan for and discuss these topics, you won’t be able to successfully merge two lives together. We’re not saying that you shouldn’t have same opinion and issues such as politics or living habits. Moreover, you should talk about your main interests in private life and you have to talk about all the things you like to do alone or with your partner, also you should talk about your dreams for the future with your children.